There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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