I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
