i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize