i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize