Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
