I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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