I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
