Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
