Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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