I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
