Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
