when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
