so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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