Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have aggressive nipples.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
