I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
