He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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