I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
