We're facebook friends in real life
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
