So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
