You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize