just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
