Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
