SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
