K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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