I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
