You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
