Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
