where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
