Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
