so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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