someone get that fucking seahorse.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize