finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
