I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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