Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
