Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
