What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
