i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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