laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
