you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
