We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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