this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
