well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
