i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
