literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
