i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
