I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
