We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
