you're like a bully in the Christmas story
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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