it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
