Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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