Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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