Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize