Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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