i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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