My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize