In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
