HIV tests are more positive than that guy
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
