Im at strip club and am horny
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
