I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
