the day after is always just damage control
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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