I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
