He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
